I do not think that you hate him. Nor do I think you are acting out of a vendetta. I think you do not understand him, nor myself, in truth.
But that is not the effect it has on him. Being watched does not make him feel he needs to 'stay in line'. It makes him feel as if he has been assigned as a monster, that no one will ever see him otherwise, and should the right stimulus be presented, that he has an audience to make watch his monstrousness at play.
He is a long-lived creature, Miss Shaw, and however long he might simply play his piano is a matter of whims. It is simply a matter of his fancy and what others might do, in fact, whether he thinks you're watching, before he trips into something horrendous simply to 'give you something to watch'.
no subject
I do not think that you hate him. Nor do I think you are acting out of a vendetta. I think you do not understand him, nor myself, in truth.
But that is not the effect it has on him. Being watched does not make him feel he needs to 'stay in line'. It makes him feel as if he has been assigned as a monster, that no one will ever see him otherwise, and should the right stimulus be presented, that he has an audience to make watch his monstrousness at play.
He is a long-lived creature, Miss Shaw, and however long he might simply play his piano is a matter of whims. It is simply a matter of his fancy and what others might do, in fact, whether he thinks you're watching, before he trips into something horrendous simply to 'give you something to watch'.
And that is the last thing I want.