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permissions

unreality.

Shortly prior to her canonpoint, Shaw spent roughly eleven months in captivity, and most of that time was spent undergoing a series of hyper-realistic VR simulations meant to - among other things - deprive her of her sense of reality. As a result, she often questions whether the things she experiences are real, and thinks it's very possible that she never escaped captivity at all. Additionally, after living through literally thousands of simulated scenarios meant to mimic her real life, she also grapples with the possibility that she has simulation-induced false memories, and occasionally struggles with feeling unsure of whether specific events from her personal history happened in real life or in one of the simulations. None of this is anything that she'd share with people right out the gate, and while onboard the Barge she's going to do her best to take the approach of "Maybe this isn't real, but maybe it is, and for the sake of my inmate and my deal I'm going to proceed as if it is" - but it still colors her thoughts and actions, and symptoms of this trauma (ex. confusion, panic, weird existential comments, etc.) will still bleed through sometimes. As she talks to people, she'll be much more willing to share her theory that the Barge and everyone on it exists only in her mind than she will be to share her reasons for feeling this way, but close CR might eventually hear more of the full story. Unless I hear otherwise from somebody, I will default to assuming that themes of unreality are okay to have come up in threads. If this topic is one you'd prefer not to deal with, please opt out below. If I make mention of it in a tag before you read/reply to this and it turns out you'd rather go the opt-out route, let me know OOCly and I'll happily edit the tag.

brainwashing, mind-control, and gaslighting.

In real life, Shaw has not been brainwashed into being a double agent for her enemies, nor has she been implanted with any hardware that would allow them to track her or control her in any way. However, many of the simulations she underwent leaned heavily on both concepts, and as a consequence, she continues to worry about the idea. Characters with medical knowledge (whether it's magic- or technology-based) may occasionally get her swinging by for body scans, and characters with mental health backgrounds (or characters who just strike her as level-headed and observant) may get her asking them to keep an eye out for her not acting like herself, and to be ready to subdue her if they have reason to believe she poses a threat to her inmate or the ship. She's unlikely to be open about the reason for her (ultimately unfounded) concerns, but like with the unreality issues, she might eventually open up to close CR. Unless I hear otherwise from somebody, I will default to assuming that mentions of brainwashing and mind-control, as well as mentions of the gaslighting that she was subjected to, are okay to have come up in threads. If this topic is one you'd prefer not to deal with, please opt out below. If I make mention of it in a tag before you read/reply to this and it turns out you'd rather go the opt-out route, let me know OOCly and I'll happily edit the tag.

suicide.

Shaw ended many of the simulations by killing herself within them. She also very nearly committed suicide in real life at least twice: once while still in captivity because she believe death to be her only real way out, and once after her escape because she believed she could no longer trust herself not to be a danger to her loved ones. At another point, she exhibited purposeful suicidal recklessness in an attempt to get herself killed and thereby restart a simulation that she erroneously believed herself to be in. It's very unlikely that she'd try anything like this on the Barge, but depending on the circumstances, there's a remote possibility of it. Unless I hear otherwise from somebody, I will default to assuming that themes of suicide or displays of suicidal impulses are NOT okay to have come up in threads, even in metatext.

If the defaults I've laid out (unreality and brainwashing talk okay, suicide talk not okay) are different from your personal comfort levels, or if you have any stipulations/requests that you want me to know about, I'd appreciate it if you would fill out the following form (it's quick, I promise)!

<b>Game:</b> <b>Your name:</b> What you're listed as on the contact page, please! This is so I can apply what you put here to all of your characters, current and future (unless you have certain stipulations with some and not others; if that's the case, let me know!). <b>Is there anything about the above content that you'd like me to know?</b> Feel free to just do a blanket "The defaults you've laid out are fine with me"; otherwise, please let me know specifics - is there one particular thing that you don't want to deal with, even if you're fine with everything else? Are there things you're okay with in metatext but not in dialogue? Is there anything that I've said I won't touch on without permission that you *are* okay with tackling ICly? Do you have different comfort levels for different characters that you play? And so on.

temporary pairing opt-in

Shaw plans to keep a very close eye on her temporary inmates, and will attempt to do so in much the same way that she keeps an eye on "numbers" at home: namely, by engaging in as much covert surveillance as possible. At a minimum, she'll have the Admiral grant her access to her temp inmate's private messages for the duration of their pairing, without telling the inmate that she is doing so; additionally, she'll likely try to get away with planting a bug in their cabin and/or on their person in some way. Because this is A Lot to spring on another player without any preplotting, having your inmate temped with Shaw will be an opt-in experience! If this sounds like a fun time to you, drop me a comment here with the name(s) of your relevant inmate character(s) and let me know. By default, I will opt out of having her temp-paired with any inmates whose players I don't get a comment from.

pairing information

Character Name: Sameen Shaw
Character Journal: cactusy
Status: Warden
Pairing Information:
Shaw will see the role of warden as that of a protector, an enforcer, and a guiding hand. She's much better at the first two than she is at the third, but she'll recognize the importance of all three, and will do her best to provide all of them. Being assigned people to look after is basically her job description at home, and she'll feel free to use similar tactics on the Barge, up to and including covert surveillance - so if your inmate needs someone who will monitor their activities closely, she could be a good pick! Buuuuuuuut if they need someone who will always be up front about how they're doing it, she definitely wouldn't be. UPDATE: After a year and a half on the Barge, she has tempered this impulse somewhat (because the Barge isn't home, because the goals and expectations are different, because the dynamics are different), but only to a point; she won't necessarily attempt to surveil everything her inmate does the way that her team does with POIs, but she's still far more security-oriented than many wardens are.

When paired, Shaw's initial attitude will be very much "I'm here for a job, I'm not here to make friends"; while she has, at this point in her timeline, started to come around to the idea that personal bonds are something that she wants in her life, she still much prefers a small social circle, and she still usually takes a while to warm up to people. Even if she ends up growing close to her inmate eventually (not an inevitability, but also not outside the realm of possibility!), she'll always be comfortable with pulling rank when she thinks it's necessary. Blunt and direct to a fault, she'd flounder hard with inmates who would need to be handled with gentleness or sensitivity, but she'd do well with inmates who would need a firm hand and who wouldn't begrudge her some amount of professional distance, as well as with those who would benefit from a lot of hands-on learning. While needing to talk her inmate through some things is inevitable, Shaw is a very straightforward, concrete person who excels at action above all else, and her methods will reflect this: she'll rope her inmate into things like non-lethal self-defense training, useful service work on the Barge, and helping out during crises. All of this will be mandatory in her mind, with the logic that you can't pick up better behavior patterns without actually practicing them. UPDATE: After, again, a year and a half onboard, she is now more open to the idea of forming friendships with her inmates instead of maintaining strict professional boundaries - but if she ever feels that the dual roles of friend and warden are in conflict, she will always prioritize what she considers to be her wardenly duties to her inmate, even when it means letting the friendship that she's built with them take a hit. She would still be a poor fit for an inmate who would require their warden to prioritize the personal aspect of their relationship over the professional one.

IC contact for lastvoyages

[If I don't have an active post up, feel free to use this post to have your character call, videochat, text, or knock on Shaw's door.]