IC contact for lastvoyages

[cactusy]

[If I don't have an active post up, feel free to use this post to have your character call, videochat, text, or knock on Shaw's door.]

Comments

[cactusy]

because my supervisor could tell that I wasn't just abrasive because I thought it made me look cool. I was abrasive because I wasn't feeling the things I was supposed to be feeling. It wasn't the behavior that made me a liability to him, it was the underlying cause of it.

[weartearrust]

Wouldn't that make you better at it, from a clinician perspective? No entanglements with emotions swaying you one way or the other when it comes to a diagnosis?

In the right setting, like a surgery bay, I'd think that's an immense strength.

[cactusy]

that's what I thought. he thought that the chance that I'd get bored and start doing stupid things to alleviate that was too much of a risk.

I don't know if he was right. maybe he was, maybe he wasn't. a lot of the things I know now about the value of human life weren't things that I knew back then. but he did what he thought was best for his patients, and I can respect that.

[weartearrust]

Was getting bored and doing stupid things something you did a lot of already, or... is that more a pattern of expected behavior, not one actually happening?

[cactusy]

the second.

[weartearrust]

Stereotyping strikes again.

[cactusy]

what, you think I shouldn't respect him for it?

[weartearrust]

I feel people should be judged by what they do, not what other people do.

[cactusy]

me, too.

but I understand risk calculation. I understand prioritizing someone's safety over someone else getting their job of choice.

[weartearrust]

Ruining a career over a hypothetical though, that's iffy to me.

[cactusy]

even a hypothetical with high stakes? patients' lives?

[weartearrust]

Yep. See, it isn't as if you actually did anything to warrant it. You're no more likely to get bored and cause problems than anyone else, but you got singled out. ANY young doctor can put patients at risk but they're not all being tossed out.

If this same guy got you involved in shadier stuff, he didn't oust you because of patient fears, Shaw. He did it becuz he wanted you working in more hazardous areas.

[cactusy]

Nah, different guy. I think he'd say my future activities proved his point, though.

[weartearrust]

Well, when you take away what someone wants to do, they usually start doing other stuff. That's not exactly a win in his favor.

[cactusy]

and I think making that jump is nuts. but almost everyone who's heard the story gets offended on my behalf, so maybe I'm actually the one who's nuts.

I appreciate people willing to make tough choices. and I appreciate people willing to put doing the right thing over someone's feelings, or even their own feelings. but one thing I've learned over the past few years is that it's not too hard for that line of thinking to take a wrong turn. seems like the kind of thing you have experience with, too.

[weartearrust]

We're going by what we're told, you go by what you lived. The experience is going to be different.

Sometimes it is a call that has to be made. Sometimes it isn't. It's been part of my job before, and my life. What's the saying? 'The needs of the many' and all that? But there's always going to be nuance.

Maybe in the end turning you from doctor to Turk was a good thing. Maybe it wasn't, we can't speak to an alternate you that stayed on the medical path to find out.

[cactusy]

phrase it like that, and you're going to speak a flood into being.

[weartearrust]

Damn,let me require an addendum, we need BOTH at the SAME TIME to compare directly or it doesn't count.

And if it happens I want to spar with both of you.

[chaos_drifter]

It seems like something stronger than what they can feel, but so had grief. “Do you know why it comes easily to you?”

[cactusy]

deal

question for you. kind of related. I wouldn't go back to working for the government even if that were possible. would you go back to Shinra?

[cactusy]

"No. It can't just be because it's negative; I don't feel things like hate in the same way."

She pauses, thinks - and then asks them a question that she very likely wouldn't ask anyone else.

"You got any theories?"

[weartearrust]

I don't know. It'd be easy to say 'of course not!' but it would depend on a lot of things. It's my whole life's work, and things supposedly get better for the planet a few years after I die.

[cactusy]

I wouldn't want you saying "of course not" unless you actually meant it. blowing smoke up my ass doesn't do anybody any good.

play out some of those factors that would affect your decision for me?

[weartearrust]

The usuals. I joined to do good and help people, not be a monster or help end the world. I don't think company policy allows nonhumans or deserters so probably pointless to speculate.

[cactusy]

no nonhumans at all? why?