cactusy | IC contact for lastvoyages

I'm not concerned about how you're gonna punish Graham, outside of how you're handlin' him. From what I hear, it's self defense, so what I'm actually asking is what you're doing about his havin' been pushed to it?

Believe it or not, I'm not interested in the legal back and forth. I'm much more concerned about actual justice, Shaw.

... Oh.

[She pauses. Mentally redirects.]

You're here because Bright sent you.

I'm here because of several things. I do happen to have a legitimate concern and some investment into the management of bodies we tend to be doin' here, and sometimes opinions change when the person in question is someone you care about.

[And Shaw cared about Will, Raylan saw that.]

I'm asking because I need to know how much of the patented Malcolm Bright spin I have to correct here, Givens.

Don't worry about correctin' - [Said as though he was was unbothered, like she'd maybe walked into the house with shoes on and she'd only just realized.] I'd rather hear you out without you havin' to compensate for nebulous knowledge and more assumptions.

[Since she wasn't really batting well so far in that category.]

Okay. I'm guessing it's a lot, then.

[She runs a hand over her face, suppressing another groan.]

It wasn't exactly self-defense. It was a combination of valid anger and frustration plus a traumatic response equaling an overheightened reaction. It was understandable, but not acceptable.

I don't think Graham is a monster or out of control. I'm not punishing him. But I'm responsible for him, and that means I need to know what's going on with him. If I can't trust him to keep me in the loop, then I need to keep myself in the loop.

[So very much to unpack there. Raylan is gonna take it slow.

His brow furrows a little.]

...You ever go to high-school, Shaw?

Yes...?

You ever see what happens to a kid goin' through a rough time who keeps gettin' their heads slammed or shoved into lockers by a bully? What's inevitably bound to happen?

Malcolm isn't a kid.

Look, I get that you're trying to help your friend, but my job is to get Graham to the graduation finish line, not to tend to Malcolm's short-term happiness. You know what would be really bad for his long-term happiness? Will stagnating, never graduating, and then disappearing and dying. Forever.

[He gives her an openly confused look.]

I am not talkin' about Malcolm, Shaw. I'm talkin' about Will- Will you please listen enough to hear what it is I'm tryin' to get to instead of tryin' to jump to the end of the book.

If you didn't believe me the first time I said this wasn't about punishing Will, then I don't know what else I can say to convince you, Givens.

[His brow furrows more.]

What the hell are you talkin' about? I'm speakin' English right? Those are the words I'm usin?

You said you're talking about Will, not Malcolm, yeah? So, the bully metaphor, what happens when a kid is hurt over and over again - you're trying to explain to me why Will lashed out at Avalon. Right?

Surely you can understand the need to defend yourself before a known enemy strikes you again, especially when they've been proven creditable - if you need to work with him about him comin' to you when people are bein' assholes, fine, but you like sittin' on people and callin' it a trust buildin' exercise and it's not. Presentin' it that way doesn't change the reality.

And what about Avalon - I assume that part of your 'making sure it never happens again' does involve them and their Warden - Rawne, right?

[She leans forward and pinches the bridge of her nose, muffling her voice a little.]

Okay, so, it sounds like my question does still stand. If you didn't believe me when I said this wasn't about punishing Will, then I don't know what else I can say to convince you. I do understand why Graham what he did. I don't think he's an evil monster who needs to be punished. But I failed at preventing this and Rawne failed at preventing this, and we both need to kick our asses into gear to try to keep it from happening again.

Well it sucks. People act in very stupid ways when they think they're in love and they don't usually care what anyone else says

Is that why you're weird about relationships? Bad personal experience with seeing your friends go off the deep end?

No I'm weird about relationships because I was abandoned as a kid and it screwed up my formative bonding.

Oh. Uh-- okay. Sorry about that; that sucks.

Yeah. But it worked out. It helped me survive the apocalypse.

It... did?

Yeah. I've never minded being alone. After the bombs went off and DC was gone it was just me for a long time.

Oh.

Yeah, I get that; I do fine on my own, too.

No, Shaw, I believe you when you say it's not about punishing Will. You explained it - if he's not going to let you in, you'll inject yourself. [His tone stayed soft and understanding.]

I am just sayin' that not givin' Will room to decide to come to you about this, due to the sitting, doesn't exactly further those goals. Now that doesn't mean I'm sayin' do nothin'. That doesn't mean I'm sayin' don't watch him like a hawk or monitor his movements, or hell, escort him around the ship.

[Just that, by nature, folks who are being watched will not behave in the most honest to themselves ways, which might put Shaw further away from her inmate in the ways that mattered right now.]

And I'm still curious how Avalon's bein' handled, though I suppose I can go talk to Rawne about that.

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