He doesn't like talking about this, but - she's like Lark. She's somehow easy to talk to, in a way that B isn't, because he hates admitting how much of a failure he is to the man he's always looked up to. (He might have admitted too much to B recently, while he was drunk, but it still wasn't easy, nor is it something he's proud of.)

But he at least trusts Shaw to give it to him straight, even if she wasn't here when it happened and won't ever understand how horrible what he did was.

"I just - I understand why no one trusted me after. And I don't want to do it again without meaning to. But maybe I'm explaining it badly. If I thought doing something for everyone else was good, but I was only doing it for myself, then I can't trust anything I want until I learn the difference."