cactusy | IC contact for lastvoyages

Trust me, I know this is bullshit; I don't need a peptalk, I'm good.

[A pause.]

Uh, I mean-- thanks, I appreciate it. I don't need validation so much as I need back-up, though.

I think Graham is already thinking critically about this, at least to some extent. He might not be as repentant as he says-- and I know unconditional trust is the popular tactic here, but considering his history, I think he's served better by someone who's both in his corner and knows how manipulative he can be. Anyway, whether or not he's as repentant as he says, he does argue against Bright idealizing him.

Not so much a pep talk as a reminder you can pump the brakes. Flex your muscles.

And I think you're right. Although him arguing against that might be down more to self-esteem issues than fully absorbing what he did...hard to say.

My muscles have been flexing since last night; you should've seen the look Bright gave me when he realized I wasn't going to cave and get out of his hair. Kinda surprised he and his werewolf buddies haven't shown up in dog form to drag me away yet.

And Graham didn't imply that this happened because he's an irredeemable monster who can't do better, so for now, I'm gonna call that a partial win on the self-esteem front. His arguments were good ones. Nothing too self-deprecating.

I think it'd be tantamount to mutiny wouldn't it? Probably a demoteable offense.

Like I have any idea; I don't get the standards of this place. There's a lot that I'd think would be a demoteable offense, but isn't.

I've looked back over past demotions. Seems to be anything where you kill an inmate or go against the ship itself.

It's sort of the Wild West out here.

Looked back over past demotions? Like looking through the network? You've got more patience than me, dude; I can't believe this place doesn't have Google.

I don't sleep a lot so yeah I've gone back over a lot of the network. I wanted to know what to expect from floods and breaches and I just got sucked into the rest.

Like watching crappy Spanish soap operas on late night TV?

Oh I miss those. And infomercials? Nothing like watching someone sell you a juicer while you're coming down.

You judge our relationships, I judge your taste in TV.

[She jokes! Mostly.]

Honestly, I'm sure there are people he's gonna be able to muster who will think I'm in the wrong. But I don't think I am, and everybody keeps telling me that how wardens choose to do their jobs is an individual choice, so I got that argument going for me. It's just a pain in the ass that he has to try to turn this into a battle instead of working with me.

That's fair. After twelve years with no TV my taste is probably even worse. Almost as bad as the relationships around here.

...And I don't think you're wrong. Malcolm's biased, and he knows he is, and that's reason he needs to recuse himself. This is for Will.

Do you think he'll ever actually understand that?

I think he's in a panic because this is the first time he's had to face the fact that Will is an inmate for a reason. I don't think he's ever had a serious relationship before, so that compounds things.

So...maybe. If he can get some distance from it. Some time to calm down and think.

And enough people talking to him about why what he's doing is harmful to Will.

But he's not facing that. He's in complete denial.

And I think only some distance will get him to clear his head.

What's your plan for Will so far?

Edited 2023-10-10 23:18 (UTC)

You think it's better if they aren't allowed any alone time at all for a while?

Maybe until you're sure Will is in a better place mentally. One where Malcolm won't be able to convince him he did nothing wrong.

Look, Rovia-- Malcolm enabling Will is a problem, yeah, but I don't think you get that he's not the dominant one here. Will isn't a meek little follower hanging onto his every word. Malcolm successfully, I dunno, brainwashing him into something isn't actually a huge concern of mine.

I'm not worried about that either.

I'm worried Will is going to get him demoted. And I'm worried Malcolm is going to end up hamstringing whatever progress Will makes in an effort to be on Will's side.

-- Okay. So we're on the same page on that.

I'm keeping Graham with me at all times because it's my job to know what the hell is going on in his life, and right now I can't trust that he's going to keep me in the loop on his own. I've been thinking that after a couple days, I'll probably give him a break from me when he's in a private cabin - his or somebody else's. I hadn't planned to make Bright an exception to that, but I'm not necessarily opposed.

You probably know Will better than anyone here. Or at least you're able to be the right level of suspicious. People are going to want to know what punishment he's getting; what will you tell them?

Ugh, this punishment crap.

[Not a helpful answer, Shaw. This is why you can't be turned loose on the public network on your own.]

Yeah, I know. There's no point to a punishment if nothing is learned from it, but people want it anyway.

If people want to know what punishment he's getting, I'm probably gonna want to know why they care more about that then about what I'm doing to keep it from happening again.

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