cactusy | IC contact for lastvoyages

Oh, yeah?

[ Will raises an eyebrow right back. He hasn't heard of Malcolm having any problems with guns, but he can guess. They're a little too easy to use in a moment of weakness. ]

He is much more about bladed weapons. Maybe I'll bring up a fencing club at the same time. Or try to save a spot in the range for axe throwing.

Axe-throwing, huh. Sounds fun.

[Both to do, and to watch other people do.]

I'm, uh-- not a big fan of the Enclosure, but--

[But even if she can't see herself ever using it casually and recreationally, she should get to the point where she can go in without literally throwing up, right? Hating it is one thing; not being able to even enter it is a handicap.]

Yeah, it's a complete fake reality machine, when you're having a hard time with fake realities. I'm not surprised you're not a fan.

[ He rubs his face. ]

I don't think you should push yourself to use it, if you can help it. I- my brain kind of does that sort of thing on its own, and I'm a little rough with it, too.

[ The only thing that got him to even try it was the promise of dogs. ]

It's a weakness right now.

[She murmurs, with a slight shake of her head.]

If there's a problem in there, I have to be able to go in.

[ Ah, okay, so it's that bad. Will nods, looking thoughtful. ]

Well, if it would help, I could go in with you. Bring Winston, and we could keep it just to entering and exiting?

[ Exposure therapy might help, he's thinking. ]

Alternatively, you could look into quick-acting sedatives, something to calm your fight-flight-or-freeze reflex when in an emergency situation like that.

It's not fear. I'm not scared to go in because I'm alone, or anything like that.

[And she successfully manages to suppress an eyeroll at the thought.]

A better plan would be using it as part of a training exercise. Pretending there's danger, making sure I can still pull a weapon and fight effectively.

Well, I wasn't expecting you'd choose 'flight.'

[ But he calms down the sass to listen. ]

Yeah, that'd work. I'm pretty sure you should be able to pull up whatever scenario you want in there for training.

And I could still go with if you're amenable. I could train, and it wouldn't hurt for you to have an extra anchor.

[It's not a bad plan, on the face of it: Shaw might be something of a lone wolf by nature, but she's long understood the value of working as part of a team. And though she's generally slow to warm up to people, she knows that here, she doesn't have the luxury of taking her sweet time in deciding who's worth working with in a professional capacity.

But.]

We'd have to put in safeguards to make sure I didn't hurt you, if my, uh-- if things went sideways.

[ He nods, even if he looks like he's thinking of arguing the point. ]

I'll follow your lead on that, but trust me when I say that I'm really not concerned. Not that I don't think you can hurt me. More that I've been through plenty before. I wouldn't take it personally.

Doesn't matter.

[She says, arching an eyebrow.]

I don't want to hurt you.

[He's done nothing to deserve it, and she doesn't want to risk demotion. Not putting him in danger is an easy call to make.]

[ He nods. ]

Got it. Just didn't want any extra...restrictions placed on you, if that made anything worse.

[ But he's not entirely sure what would cause her more or less problems, at this point. ]

Sounds like we've got a plan. Maybe for tomorrow?

Yeah.

[Says the woman who is still very much death-tolling.]

Yeah, tomorrow sounds good.

[She pauses, then adds:]

Hey, thanks.

Sure.

[ He leans back on his hands, relaxing a little. They can just spend some time petting the dog, now.

The next day, he waits until after lunch to come see her. He's got the day off, but figured Shaw could use the extra rest...and maybe will actually take it, if he sneaks it in like this. Winston-less this time, he knocks on her door. ]

Yeah?

[She doesn't open the door immediately, but there's the sound of shuffling on the other side of it - and honestly, if she's in her cabin, it probably does mean she's been resting. It's not as if there's much else to do in there.]

[ Good. Not that Will has any room to argue about taking proper care of one's self, but it's still better that Shaw got the time.

He speaks through the door: ]

Hey. It's Will. Thought we might give the Enclosure a try.

[... Right. Will and the Enclosure. A large part of her wants to cancel: to make up an excuse, or hell, to just use the very real excuse that she's still death-tolling. She knows that he wouldn't mind.

Instead, she says--]

Be right out.

[The door swings open half a minute later, and here she is, all ready to go with her warden item tucked into the back pocket of her jeans.]

[ Will wouldn't mind, and probably would've encouraged the rest regardless of her reasons for taking it. But- he also had a feeeling she wouldn't take the out. And she doesn't.

When she appears, he nods in greeting towards her. ]

Hey. Ready?

[ He doesn't absolutely have to ask- it's clear she's physically ready. That just seems more appropriate than any standard attempt to strike up a conversation. He's terrible at that, anyway. ]

Sure.

[She murmurs it under her breath in a way that's almost offhanded, telling herself as much as telling him. She moves past him into the hallway, closing and locking the door behind her, and then makes for the stairs.]

You sure you wanna do this?

[ Will raises an eyebrow. ]

Is there a reason I should be worried about it? I've been before.

[She's quiet for a moment as they hike up from level 1 to the deck, pulling together her thoughts.]

Giving someone a hand in dealing with this crap isn't most people's idea of a fun time, that's all.

[Then, wryly, she adds--]

Also, I might puke on your shoes.

Oh.

[ He hadn't even really thought about it, he'd just offered to help. Maybe it was the thought that he could do something to help, maybe it was continuing to try and gain her trust.

Mostly, he suspects he's relating a little too hard again. He wishes he'd had someone's support back when reality had been melting down around him. ]

Well, at least it wouldn't be me bleeding on them again.

[ Yeah, he'll just start with the joke. ]

It's fine, really. I want to help and I think I can. There's not exactly a lot I'm qualified to do, here on this boat.

[Her eyes cut back to him, just for a second.]

You're a pretty good patrol partner. Don't sell yourself short.

[ He smiles to himself, then chuckles. ]

Thanks. My partner back on the force would disagree with you, but- maybe I've gained some skills in the past decade or two.

That does remind me- I might need a slightly different schedule, once we get back to it. I've taken a job at Veterinary now, helping out with the kennels. I'll send you my shift times.

[She nods in response, eyes forward as they approach the Enclosure. She doesn't hesitate, though her expression is not just still, but frozen as she unlocks the door.]

Sounds like a good job for you. And B's a good guy.

[She pauses for a moment, the door to the Enclosure unlocked but not opened yet.]

I don't know if you can tell how much you've...

[She trails off, not sure if how much you've helped me is exactly right here, because it's not as if he's made any concrete improvements to her situation (how could he have?). But hearing him tell her about the things inside her that she can't properly feel had meant something, something big, and she doesn't know how to even begin to properly acknowledge or repay that.]

[ Will smiles at Shaw's assessment that it's a good job for him. He really does think so, too, and it'll probably help stave off some of the 'people problems' he has for a bit. But Will's eyes are focused forward too, on the Enclosure. His posture suggests a sort of alertness that's ready for anything.

So when Shaw keeps going, talking about him for some reason, he turns towards her to study her face. He's usually good at telling what people are getting at...unless it's about him. Then it's harder.

But he can tell it's important for her, so he looks to the side, thinking back as to what she might be referring to. Learning about Root presents itself, like a card being flipped over, and the tension in his face eases. ]

I don't know if I can tell, either. But I'm glad, if I've made a difference. That was- [ Oh, how does he put this? ] It was somehow surprisingly difficult to change anything in my world. There was far too much apathy.

IC contact for lastvoyages

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