cactusy | IC contact for lastvoyages

[ Ah, right. That day. That moment. When the only thing left for them was hope, dim and distant and fragile. ]

Yes. What about it?

[The memory blends and blurs with another: two woman and a man in the desert, about to drive away from each other, likely for good. Different circumstances, vastly different settings, and yet...]

I'm just... glad you're here.

[She leaves her fingers on Root's face, where they linger aimlessly.]

Feels like you almost weren't.

I'm right here. And if the worst happens...

[ She places her hand flat over Shaw's heart. Shaw's heartbeat grounds her. ]

I'm right here. With you. Always. Matter can neither be created nor destroyed. I'll change form, and... I'll be with you.

[But the worst already happened, Shaw thinks, the words tumbling over in her brain before getting stuck in her throat.]

Givens once asked me if I worried I'd regret doing the whole wedding thing.

[She says, pressing her hand over Root's to keep it in place.]

He figured that... if you did disappear before you graduated, having gotten hitched would just make it suck more. He thought it'd be smarter to hold off until your position was more secure. But when you died - the worst part wasn't that you died. The worst part was that you died right after finding me. The thing that made it suck the most was that we didn't get any time.

I know.

[ In those final moments, and even in the time leading up to them, Root thought about how little time she and Shaw had been allowed to have together after Shaw's escape. One week. Only one week. A tiny blip within the slightly larger blip that is their lives in the grand scheme of things. One precious week, every second of it a treasure.

'I'm sorry,' the Machine had said to her. 'There is no way to get through this day with you alive.'

"I knew what I was signing up for when I answered Your call. Just... please take care of Sameen for me. Of all of them, but--"

'I understand. I'll protect her.'

"Thank You." ]

That's why every single day we have here means so much to me. That's why I'm so glad we're married. We'll always have this.

[Shaw's eyes drift shut, and her brow furrows slightly, as if she's concentrating hard on something. Under Root's palm, her heart beats a steady thump.]

You glowed. I always thought people were exaggerating when they said stuff like that, but you really did; you were all lit up from the inside out. And that was why I wanted to do it. I wanted to see you that happy.

[ Oh, Shaw. Root melts, drawing closer to her, her grin mushy and soft. How in the world did she get so lucky, that this beautiful, kind woman fell in love with her? ]

You're the only person I've ever felt that with.

I meant it, when I said you've always been impossible to look away from. And if you do die for good--

[Shaw pauses, and then copies Root's wording instead of mentally nitpicking it again.]

If the worst does come to pass, I'll be okay.

[She lets out a long, slow exhale, letting the sentiment settle around her shoulders like a warm winter coat (or a borrowed leather jacket). If she's learned anything in life, it's that she'll always be okay: not necessarily normal, satisfied, or sane, but always able to keep moving forward, for better or for worse.

More often than not, it's a mix of both. Pushing on regardless of what happens can be a blessing and a curse.]

Did I ever tell you what I meant when I said you were my safe place? Like, specifically.

[ Yes, Shaw will be okay. She'll keep going, no matter what. Sometimes, going through the motions of life is the only way to get through the worst of days. If nothing else, Shaw will have that. And the dogs. They'll help her too. ]

Mm... no, I don't think you did.

[ Hearing just what Shaw told her was enough for Root. She watches Shaw's face, transfixed, the steady beating of her heart as soothing as a lullaby. ]

It didn't mean I was physically safe. I usually wasn't.

[Shaw's eyes stay shut, her eyelids twitching slightly.]

It meant that no matter what was happening to me, you were a reminder that I could handle it.

Maybe "safe place" was a misnomer. You didn't give me safety, you gave me strength.

Oh, Sameen.

[ With her free hand, Root touches Shaw's cheek, fingertips brushing her skin as they trail over to her her ear. ]

You're the strongest person I know. I'm glad I could help you. I wish I'd been able to get my message out to you sooner.

[Shaw's eyes pop open, and she shakes her head firmly. ]

No, I'm glad you didn't. You got it to me at the exact right time.

[In more ways than Root knows. ]

I didn't need it earlier. I needed it then.

[ Her heart breaks for Shaw every time this subject comes up. If she needed the message right then, it means she was close to giving up. It means they had hurt her so badly for so long that they almost had her, broken to pieces, ready to be rebuilt how they wanted her. It means that the world came close to truly losing Shaw, and that thought is unbearable. ]

Good. I'm glad.

[ Root gently kisses Shaw, adoring, promising violent vengeance on the people who dared to hurt her so badly. ]

IC contact for lastvoyages

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