cactusy | IC contact for lastvoyages

[In response, she lifts her t-shirt a little, showing him the bullet wound scars on her abdomen. She has more elsewhere - people in her line of work tend to collect scars - but these are the easiest to show off.]

Do you like them, or hate them?

[ He relaxes a little at her response and her question. He runs his index finger lightly over his forehead scar before letting his hand drop. ]

I like them. They are a tactile representation of what I've survived. What I've overcome.

How about you? Mine have all been pretty personal.

[ She might've just had a bad day in the line of duty. ]

Most of mine are just from work. Nothing special. These ones are--

[She hesitates, then shrugs. A memory of getting captured, but a memory of saving her team, too.]

A mixed bag, I guess. I don't hate them, but the tattoos mean more.

[A rod of Asclepius; USMC lettering to twin one that her father had had. Morse code around one wrist; forward slash marks on both sides of the other. The others that she'd done before her death haven't been redone yet.]

[ He sees the morse and slash marks and nods with a small smile. Good, they're there again, already. Winston, who is now basically lounging happily on Shaw's lap, attempts to lick at her hands. Everyone seems to be paying attention to them, after all. ]

I can see why they would. And the- at least most of the newer ones are easier to get back down. [ He smirks a bit. ] Don't think I could've taken a circular saw to my head, so I'm glad I didn't lose that.

[ His eyes move to her wrists. ] Did it help? To get the new ones back down?

I like the process of doing them myself.

[She says, rubbing a thumb over one of the slash marks.]

I like what they represent. They're markers - of milestones; of important things.

[ Will nods, staring at her thumb as it moves. ]

Yep. That should help you out, I think.

Are you going to try to avoid Neal and Doug till you feel more settled with yourself?

[ No judgment either way, not from Will. He's just curious. ]

I already saw them. They kinda didn't leave me any choice.

[Except she'd made the choice to call them back, albeit only after she'd been awake for a day and change.]

There was a whole thing with Franky Cook, too, but I haven't heard from her yet.

Franky...? [ He raises an eyebrow. ] I don't think I've actually met her yet. Thought I'd gotten to everyone on this boat by now.

[ The amount he's been socializing, in order to learn about his fellow passengers, has been exhausting. Surely he's almost done meeting new people? ]

Badass old-timey fighter pilot. Probably not the type I'm gonna have to worry about, but you never know.

If your thing was some sort of relationship, doesn't sound like she would be.

I don't expect you'd need a go-between, but if the blur gets bad, let me know. I can step in, make sure you get a break. You didn't know me there, so that could make the separation easier, maybe.

The blur is bad already.

[She admits it quietly. God, how do people manage more than one breach? How do people stay here for years?]

I just know the things I'm thinking aren't really me. Pretty sure other people aren't so good at that.

[ Will doesn't understand it, either. He's had years- decades- of practice dealing with this, and he's still catching himself. And that's on things that he's actually trying on, not the family-related issues he intends to keep. ]

At knowing? Yeah, and that might make it easier on them. They don't have to see those edges where they stop and someone else begins. And when the breach memories fade, it's a quiet vanishing.

What things are you thinking that aren't really you? If you're all right talking about it.

Eiffel and Caffrey are like family; people I've known for years. Cook is... I don't know, whatever we were. Some sort of relationship.

[Her tone is flat; her eyes dull. She lets the dog nudge his cold nose against her cheek.]

That world is real, this world is imaginary. Home is just a dream.

[ Will nods, lets out a sigh, and finally joins her sitting fully on the ground. He'll pace, otherwise. ]

Yeah, those are the ones. Any sort of grounding's going to help. Your tattoos, talking with people you know here, doing something physical- which would probably help you more than it does me.

For me, it's more- I reason with myself when I notice it. If that world were real, then I'd be dead. This right here is too structured for a final fever dream. I know who I am.

[ His voice has quieted down considerably. ] -and if I say that to myself often enough, it keeps me focused on figuring it out. It eventually becomes true.

I still don't get how your integration plan doesn't drive you crazy.

[ He opens his mouth like he's going to laugh, but just a little puff of a chuckle comes out, and his smile is so tired. ]

Well, it's more like I don't have a choice. It's an experiment, trying the best of the bad options, because there's honestly too much for me to work on. It'd be years before I started feeling like myself again, if I went about it like I usually do. This is letting me just focus on the parts I want to get rid of, like the part of me that decided it was a great idea to just eat four people. I- I-

[ He seems to stop moving for a moment, frozen. Then he lets out all his breath in a deep sigh. ]

It wouldn't work if Harkin-- uh, Sweeney- didn't have a worse, supernatural version of the same problem. We got lucky, honestly, because we can both understand.

[Shaw watches him, her own face a little frozen itself.]

Point taken. Do you, uh--

[She gestures at Winston. Do you need the dog, buddy.]

[ He takes in a slightly-shaky breath and puts his hand on Winston's head, slowly petting it. Winston is used to this, and just stays in place on Shaw's lap. Will looks down at his hand and quietly chuckles at himself. ]

Ah. Thanks. If you can believe it, this is me doing a lot better.

Dogs are pretty cool. I don't know that they actually make that much of a difference for me, but I like being around them anyway.

[They're definitely easier than people, on multiple levels.]

Yeah. And hey- if you like 'em, they're probably good for you, too. Dogs are...not complicated.

[ He scritches behind Winston's ears in a more normal manner. That gets him a little lick on his hand before he pulls it away, getting out of Shaw's personal space. ]

Saved my life, too. I was sleepwalking at one point and ended up on my roof. The dogs woke me up before I fell.

[She's quiet for a moment, studying him.]

That happen to you a lot?

No, that was during the encephalitis...my untreated brain infection. Used to sleepwalk a little when I was a teenager too, but- nothing that bad.

[ He smirks a little. He's used to being stared at. Even if he's not sure why she's doing so right now, he'll guess. ]

But yeah, I'm probably not the best person to give you advice on sticking to reality. I know. I just- have a lot of practice trying to do so myself.

I'd rather talk about it with someone who gets it than someone it's just a hypothetical for. We could, I dunno, keep an eye on each other. Swap tips.

[ He smiles very slightly, appreciating the reasoning. ]

Yeah. I like the sound of that.

Is reality something that you've had to worry about, before the Breach?

[Shaw closes her eyes, and shifts so that she can lean fully back against the wall.]

I wasn't in a good place when I came here.

IC contact for lastvoyages

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject