cactusy | IC contact for lastvoyages

It's very blurry, in my opinion.

[ She starts getting everyone's plates ready. Yes, the dogs are getting served on plates. ]

The emotion ball showed a lot of pink when I held it, didn't it.

I guess you like me a little bit.

[She goes for a lighthearted teasing tone, but the weariness still seeps in.]

Guess so!

[ She gives the dogs their plates, then comes back to the couch with hers and Shaw's plates, holding out Shaw's with a flourish. ]

So much more than a little bit. You're kind of stuck with me forever.

[Shaw scoots upwards against the arm of the couch, positioning herself in more of a sprawl than a proper lie-down, and balances the plate on her stomach. It smells delectable, but instead of jumping right to eating, she reaches out and traces Root's hipbone again.]

You're kinda stuck with me, too.

[ A bit of genuine tenderness makes it into Root's otherwise confident grin. Wow is she in love. Shaw is her strength and safe harbor, and she hopes she can be the same in return. ]

That's the best I could ever ask for. [ She nods at the pancakes. ] Chocolate chip, strawberry jelly, walnuts. Dessert once you've digested.

[Well, she can't wait any longer after hearing that spiel, can she? Shaw digs her fork in, takes a big bite, and groans in appreciation, sagging further against the couch.]

You know I went two weeks without eating during the port. Now that sucked.

[ Excuse you, what. ]

Care to elaborate for me?

[Around a mouthful of pancake:]

Yeah, I told you it was a crappy port. I was in this water world where I didn't have to eat or sleep.

For two weeks? That's a long time for a port. Was the Barge stranded?

[ Root starts to pick at her much smaller stack of pancakes. They're good, of course, but she's not exactly concerned with eating right now. ]

Some people got stuck, or lost, or-- whatever, and the Barge stuck around until everyone was back. Everyone on the Barge was really stupid about it.

Stupid how?

[ She assuming Shaw got stuck, or went and helped people who got stuck, so she won't ask about that. ]

[Shaw grunts, taking another big bite of pancake.]

Too annoying to get into. Just a bunch of people not understanding my job.

People here seem to have a lot of trouble understanding the things we've had to do.

[ She shakes her head and has a small bite of pancake. If only they could have days like this back home. Indulging in comfort foods, scantily clothed, shooting the breeze. ]

I don't even have interesting dreams to tell you about.

[Shaw mumbles something under her breath, her mouth still full. Then, swallowing, she adds:]

My comas are on a schedule. The next one is next month.

[This will absolutely not be happening, but to be fair, her comas have been shockingly regular so far; she can probably be forgiven for assuming that will continue.]

[ Sweetie, please, Root wants to hear every little thing you say. ]

So we only get a few weeks before then. [ Hmm. ] I can't claim all your free time, but I do want most of it.

Yeah? You wanna come on patrol with me?

That's not free time, Sameen.

Then what counts as free time? I'm on duty here 24/7; it's not like I get days off.

[ Root pouts. ]

Did the Admiral say you have to do regular patrols? You can take an hour or two now and then, can't you?

[Shaw frowns, sliding down further onto her back so that she can reach Root with her feet, worming them under her thighs. ]

He said I'm on duty as a warden all the time. And I do relax; I'm relaxing now.

And you look like you're enjoying it.

[ Well, if Shaw is going to tuck her feet under Root's thighs, then Root is going to place a hand on Shaw's knee, striking idly with her thumb. ]

You're such a good warden, Sameen. You take the job seriously. You look out for Will. You're dependable. [ Root sighs, smiling. ] This place is lucky to have you. And so am I.

[Shaw's expression shifts, turning more solemn. She knows that by the standards that are prized on the Barge, she isn't a good warden; as good as she is at her job at home, she doesn't have any of the skills that the majority of people here value the most. She's made peace with that. She plays to her strengths and does her best to compensate for her weaknesses. But all the same, this is the first job she's ever held (... okay, the second, if she's forced to count the perfume counter gig) that she knows herself to be objectively bad at.]

I do take it seriously. I am dependable-- usually.

[She hasn't forgotten the flood that sent her to Zero for a week, panicking and trying to cut a probably-nonexistent chip out of her neck.

She pauses, then scoots a little closer.]

I'm lucky to have you, too. And I, uh-- you know how much I like having you around, right? Even when we're not together, I know you're here.

[Here and not missing; here and not dead.]

[ Warmth floods through Root's entire body, and she smiles. This is how Shaw says I love you without saying it. As long as they're both here, they're safe. No Samaritan, no numbers. No constant danger, not the way it exists in the city. ]

Of course I know. It's the thing I'm most sure of. Don't ever doubt that.

Good. Because I was off-center without you, too - before you got here, and during that coma. But when you're awake and alert and we're just doing different stuff, it doesn't feel like you're absent.

[Her brow furrows faintly.]

I don't want you to think I don't care about spending time with you, or that I'm ignoring you. And if you want more time with me in our freetime, I want to give you that. But I-- even if I don't see you all day, I don't miss you, because I know you're here. It isn't that I don't care about not being around you, it's that it doesn't feel like I'm not around you. Does that make sense?

It does. [ She gives Shaw's knee a gentle squeeze. ] For me, this place is so small compared to New York that it feels like you're always around.

I don't need... constant attention. I came off too strong about wanting to make up for lost time. It's just, after you escaped and came home, we had so little time together. So, even though we have as long as we need here, every second is precious to me. I love cooking for you and talking with you and not talking with you. [ wink-wonk. She does not wink, though. ]

Honestly, Sameen, as long as I get to fall asleep holding you, I'm happy.

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