cactusy | IC contact for lastvoyages

[Shaw's fingers stray up to Root's hair, semi-unconsciously seeking out the spot behind her ear where Rolf used to hide.]

Small-town Texas and unethical research labs have something in common. Who knew.

[ No more Rolf. No more voice of god. It's very quiet in Root's head these days. Her eyes drift shut as Shaw strokes her hair. ]

They had you for almost a year. They made you feel worse than I did in the breach. I'm so sorry, baby.

[ She should've demanded the Machine's help sooner. ]

Hey.

[She nudges her fingers more insistently against Root's scalp.]

You know this isn't a competition, right?

Right. [ Root nods. ] I just... I know a little better now what that might've been like for you.

[ And it actually happened. Root still isn't sure if the breach is some other reality. It's not impossible, but she's still though Root, from their world. ]

Do you miss Hadayat?

[Shaw's expression settles into a small, thoughtful frown. She starts to shake her head, but then hesitates.]

I don't know. I don't think so; not really. You know I didn't have the same kind of relationship with him that most people did with their daemons. There wasn't much to him; we didn't communicate.

[She exhales.]

I guess... that's a problem I have in every reality, real or not.

[ Root shakes her a little. ]

You say it's a problem, but that's how I'm going to find you. No matter where we are, or who we are, I'll always know you're someone I can trust. The one person I don't want to live without.

How will you be able to tell, if you don't know me?

[How had she been able to tell on their own world, when she'd first met her?]

The way you dance in the light. The way you move, the lines you trace, the shapes you make.

[ Shut up, let her wax poetic about waveforms and relativity ans music. ]

I don't believe in soulmates, but the ripples in your wake? I'll recognize them. I'll know what they mean.

I don't get it.

[It's not meant as a dismissal - it's not a You're wrong, or an I think you're full of shit. But all the same...]

What makes my, uh, ripples so special that you'd be able to pick them out like that?

[ Hm. How to word it? ]

The way they harmonize with mine. It's like they dance. Their differences make a beautiful whole.

And you could seriously tell that from the second you met me?

I had a hunch. Spent more time with you to confirm it. It's... like how you get along with someone from the moment you meet them, and then you get to know them, and it only gets better.

[ Gosh but it's hard to describe feelings that she just... feels. In her bones, in her cells, the electrical activity in her brain. ]

And it didn't bother you a bit that I couldn't stand you.

[She says it wryly, moving her other hand up to give Root's cheek a stroke. ]

You drove me crazy.

You didn't have to like me for me to be around you. And as long as I could be around you, it could work out.

[ Her eyes flutter shut as Shaw touches her cheek. ]

And it did. Now I drive you crazy in the best ways.

Yeah, because you're the worst flirt.

[She punctuates this with a poke, right in the middle of Root's forehead.]

You remember when Samaritan came online, and we all had to scatter to the winds?

Yeah. You at the department store makeup counter, me changing identities every few days...

[ She touches her nose to to Shaw's. ]

I hated having to be away from you. And Harold. And Bear. ...even John, sometimes.

Mm, I mean before that. That day on the sidewalk.

[When they'd walked away from each other and off to their new identities for the first time, not sure when - or if - they'd see each other again.]

[ Ah, right. That day. That moment. When the only thing left for them was hope, dim and distant and fragile. ]

Yes. What about it?

[The memory blends and blurs with another: two woman and a man in the desert, about to drive away from each other, likely for good. Different circumstances, vastly different settings, and yet...]

I'm just... glad you're here.

[She leaves her fingers on Root's face, where they linger aimlessly.]

Feels like you almost weren't.

I'm right here. And if the worst happens...

[ She places her hand flat over Shaw's heart. Shaw's heartbeat grounds her. ]

I'm right here. With you. Always. Matter can neither be created nor destroyed. I'll change form, and... I'll be with you.

[But the worst already happened, Shaw thinks, the words tumbling over in her brain before getting stuck in her throat.]

Givens once asked me if I worried I'd regret doing the whole wedding thing.

[She says, pressing her hand over Root's to keep it in place.]

He figured that... if you did disappear before you graduated, having gotten hitched would just make it suck more. He thought it'd be smarter to hold off until your position was more secure. But when you died - the worst part wasn't that you died. The worst part was that you died right after finding me. The thing that made it suck the most was that we didn't get any time.

I know.

[ In those final moments, and even in the time leading up to them, Root thought about how little time she and Shaw had been allowed to have together after Shaw's escape. One week. Only one week. A tiny blip within the slightly larger blip that is their lives in the grand scheme of things. One precious week, every second of it a treasure.

'I'm sorry,' the Machine had said to her. 'There is no way to get through this day with you alive.'

"I knew what I was signing up for when I answered Your call. Just... please take care of Sameen for me. Of all of them, but--"

'I understand. I'll protect her.'

"Thank You." ]

That's why every single day we have here means so much to me. That's why I'm so glad we're married. We'll always have this.

[Shaw's eyes drift shut, and her brow furrows slightly, as if she's concentrating hard on something. Under Root's palm, her heart beats a steady thump.]

You glowed. I always thought people were exaggerating when they said stuff like that, but you really did; you were all lit up from the inside out. And that was why I wanted to do it. I wanted to see you that happy.

[ Oh, Shaw. Root melts, drawing closer to her, her grin mushy and soft. How in the world did she get so lucky, that this beautiful, kind woman fell in love with her? ]

You're the only person I've ever felt that with.

I meant it, when I said you've always been impossible to look away from. And if you do die for good--

[Shaw pauses, and then copies Root's wording instead of mentally nitpicking it again.]

If the worst does come to pass, I'll be okay.

[She lets out a long, slow exhale, letting the sentiment settle around her shoulders like a warm winter coat (or a borrowed leather jacket). If she's learned anything in life, it's that she'll always be okay: not necessarily normal, satisfied, or sane, but always able to keep moving forward, for better or for worse.

More often than not, it's a mix of both. Pushing on regardless of what happens can be a blessing and a curse.]

Did I ever tell you what I meant when I said you were my safe place? Like, specifically.

IC contact for lastvoyages

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