IC contact for lastvoyages

[cactusy]

[If I don't have an active post up, feel free to use this post to have your character call, videochat, text, or knock on Shaw's door.]

Comments

Re: text

[themostfun]

[ Okay, okay, she won't be a jerk about it. ]

I'm okay. See you tonight.

[cactusy]

[Phew.

Shaw doesn't text back, nor does she do through with hunting Root down: she well understands needing space and wanting to be left alone for a while. It also gives her some time to try to figure out what to do.

After a few hours of deliberation, this involves returning to the cabin with two guns more than usual in her pockets.]

Root?

[themostfun]

Hey, sweetie.

[ Root is sitting on the couch, a mug of tea in hand, a bottle of cold beer on the little coffee table in front of the couch. She is prepared, ok, and she won't waste any time getting to the point, not after being cryptic and quiet throughout the day. ]

I figured I should talk to you about this. The dogs are great listeners, but they're not the best at giving feedback.

[cactusy]

[Shaw's eyebrows jump in mild surprise, but she doesn't hesitate. Temporarily abandoning the idea of a distraction via an Enclosure gun outing, she grabs up the beer and takes a seat next to Root on the couch, angling her upper body towards her.]

Sure. I'll, uh... let you start.

[themostfun]

[ Ugh Shaw is the best. Enclosure gun outing as a reward?? :D

Root would put it off even if she knew that was Shaw's plan, because this is serious. Once she seizes on an idea (well-- a good idea), Root doesn't let go until it's accomplished. So, yes, time to begin accomplishing. ]

I don't think I've made any progress toward graduation. I've been here for a year. I agreed to this. But all I've been doing is... [ a sigh ] playing house and annoying people. That's not what I came here for. Tim may be gone, but that doesn't mean I can just forget my goal.

[ There's no question because she has none to ask. She just wants to talk about it. Maybe she wants to establish some form of accountability. Maybe she's hoping this will take her straight to the goal.

Maybe she just wants to be right about something. ]

[cactusy]

Okay. I agree.

[She says it slowly, making sure to pick her words carefully and deliberately.]

I think saying that and meaning it's a sign you've made some progress, though. You came here willingly, yeah, but let's not kid ourselves; that doesn't mean too much, considering the alternative. Wanting to work at it means more.

[themostfun]

A small percentage of progress, [ Root murmurs, rolling her eyes with a smile, without cheer in her eyes ] but progress nonetheless.

[ Wry at best, just shy of self-deprecating. This whole thing sucks, but wanting to go back home isn't enough, or else she'd be back by now. No, she has actual work to do, and that means looking into the locked rooms in her mind where she keeps the scary things, the hardest truths, the most unsettling memories.

Ugh. ]

I suppose I can start with the question Tim gave me to think about before he disappeared.

[ U G H ]

[cactusy]

[Shaw lifts a foot, gently nudging Root in the knee.]

The one that kinda messed you up for a while there?

[themostfun]

That's the one! [ :') ] It's still upsetting, but I'm not shutting down over it. ...progress?

[cactusy]

Yeah.

[She presses her foot against Root's leg again, but this time she leaves it there.]

Any way I can help? I get that I was probably too flippant about it, the first time.

[themostfun]

[ Root gently nudges Shaw's leg, her smile going genuine, finally. The hardest part of this conversation is over. ]

Keep being you. That's enough to remind me of what's at stake.

[cactusy]

I'm not going anywhere if I have anything to say about it.

[She says quietly, meeting and attempting to keep Root's gaze.]

[themostfun]

Me too.

[ Because, as she has now witnessed, one can just... disappear from the Barge. And that means-- ]

The only way I'm leaving is if I've graduated. Blame the Admiral if I'm gone before then.

[ Maybe kill him a little, if you even can. ]

[cactusy]

I'll blame him for bringing you in the first place.

[ Shaw mutters, because as much as she likes having this extra time with Root, it's never lost on her that Root being here as an inmate had negated Shaw's chance to save her with a deal - a surer thing than relying on graduation, in her opinion. ]

So, uh-- what do you wanna do? Do you wanna talk about the thing he said?

[themostfun]

[ Sipping her tea, Root nods. ]

Apparently, I tend toward codependency. Apparently, that isn't only his opinion, so it bears thinking about.

[ Just because she's willing to talk about this doesn't mean she's happy about it. Root doesn't avoid Shaw's gaze, but she doesn't hold it steadily, glancing here and there often before settling back on Shaw. Her smile is shaky and not as bright as she likes it to be. ]

I would've thought I come off more hyperindependent.

[cactusy]

I mean, yeah, with most people. But when you go, you go hard.

[ Shaw shrugs, and hunches forward slightly. ]

You know, just because I agree, and just because I think it's probably something you're supposed to be working on - it doesn't bother me. Not personally. It's not like I've been sitting here secretly stewing in anger over how codependent you are. It's just that you said Tim said it, and I was like, yeah, that tracks.

[themostfun]

You'd tell me if I were really annoying you.

[ That's something Root is certain of. It's not that Shaw won't lie, but that she's honest when it counts. With each other, Root feels that it always counts. ]

Now that you see it, though-- am I like that with you?

[cactusy]

Not really. Not like you and the Machine are.

[themostfun]

[ Ah-- that still stings. Root shifts slightly, sipping her tea again. ]

Can you elaborate?

[cactusy]

On-- which part?

[ Shaw asks, her brow furrowing. ]

[themostfun]

How I'm more codependent with Her than with you.

[cactusy]

I mean, like I said before, you have i-- her in your head all the time at home. Even beyond just missing her: does it feel wrong to have the inside of your head be just you?

[themostfun]

[ She has to think about that for a second. ]

It feels quiet. [ It feels lonely. ] I'm not sure if it feels wrong or not, but it feels like something is missing.

[cactusy]

Yeah. And, uh-- I don't think any warden of yours is gonna say it's bad to have that direct line at all. But they're probably gonna want to help you feel less... like that.

[themostfun]

[ Less like she's lost and half hollow? :/ ]

Probably, [ Root agrees. ] I guess. But I'm not sorry I miss Her.